Subject: Inquiry About Fjords
From: Francis Ford Coppola Ford@FrancisFordCoppolaWinery.com To: info@ford.com
Dear Ford Team,
I hope this email finds you well. I’m currently in the early stages of production for a new film, and I’ve been drawn to the stunning natural beauty of fjords as a potential location. One pivotal scene involves Al Pacino (as a conflicted father) and Diane Keaton (as a steadfast but estranged partner) confronting decades of unresolved tension while surrounded by the otherworldly majesty of a fjord. The landscape’s serene, almost haunting atmosphere is crucial to setting the emotional tone of this moment.
Could you provide any information or resources about fjords—specifically those with unique or striking features that could serve as an unforgettable backdrop? Your expertise would be greatly appreciated as we aim to capture something truly timeless.
Thank you for your time,
Francis Ford Coppola
Subject: FWD: Inquiry About Fjords
From: info@ford.com To: Ford@HarrisonFord.com
Dear Mr. Coppola,
Thank you for reaching out, but I believe this email may have been sent in error. While we at Ford Motor Company are quite adept at discussing torque, horsepower, and off-road capability, we’re not particularly well-versed in fjords.
If you ever need rugged vehicles for traversing difficult terrains—fjords or otherwise—we’d be happy to assist. Otherwise, you may want to redirect this inquiry to someone with a better geological background.
Best of luck with your project!
Kind regards,
Customer Relations
Ford Motor Company
Subject: FWD: FWD: Inquiry About Fjords
From: Harrison Ford Ford@HarrisonFord.com To: Ford@WhiteHouse.gov
Francis,
It’s bringing back memories of The Conversation and that time I surprised you by making major changes to my character. You weren’t too thrilled at first, but I’d say it worked out alright in the end.
Anyway, I don’t know much about fjords except they’re cold and probably not great for a boat chase. Besides, I’ve done enough running and falling to know that I’d rather not add slippery cliffs to the list. Hope you find what you’re looking for.
Best,
Harrison
Subject: FWD: FWD: FWD: Inquiry About Fjords
From: Gerald Ford Ford@WhiteHouse.gov To: Ford@TomFord.com
Francis,
As I’m currently deceased, I’m even less qualified to provide any insights on fjords. My expertise was more about navigating the aftermath of Watergate and signing the Helsinki Accords, rather than scenic waterways in Norway. As I once said, ‘I am a Ford, not a Lincoln,’ and I guess that means I am definitely not a fjord expert either. That said, I hope you find the help you need.
Best regards,
Gerald R. Ford
38th President of the United States (Posthumously)
Subject: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: Inquiry About Fjords
From: Tom Ford Ford@TomFord.com To: Ford@Harrison-Fords.com
Francis,
While I can’t provide much information about fjords, I did want to offer some thoughts on your movie. The scene you described—a haunting confrontation between Al Pacino and Diane Keaton—calls for a distinctive visual style. I’d imagine something minimalist, perhaps muted grays and blues to echo the atmosphere of a fjord. I’d be more than happy to contribute if wardrobe or stylistic guidance is needed.
Feel free to reach out if you’re ever in need of some sartorial expertise—although, preferably on something a little more fitting to my skill set.
All the best,
Tom Ford
Subject: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: Inquiry About Fjords
From: Ford@Harrison-Fords.com To: fjords@fjords.no
Dear Norwegian Government,
Mr. Coppola, if you’re ever interested in taking a test drive, we’d be more than happy to arrange something. A Ford Explorer could be just the thing for getting around those beautiful fjords—or any other rugged terrain you’re scouting.
Let us know if we can help, and thank you for keeping us in the loop!
Sincerely,
Harrison County Ford Dealership
“Your One-Stop Shop for All Things Ford!”
Subject: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: Inquiry About Fjords
From: fjords@fjords.no To: info@croppola.com
Kjære Croppola,
Vi beklager all forvirringen rundt denne e-posten. Vi har mottatt forespørselen om fjorder fra Mr. Coppola.
Vi ville elsket å snakke med dere om muligheten til å filme på noen av våre vakreste fjorder. Disse dramatiske klippene og speilklare vannflatene er perfekte for en slik scene som Mr. Coppola beskriver. Ta gjerne kontakt når som helst for mer informasjon.
Beklager igjen for forvirringen, vi jobber med å rette opp e-postsystemet vårt.
Med vennlig hilsen,
Den Norske Regjeringen
Subject: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: Inquiry About Fjords
From: info@croppola.com To: Ford@FrancisFordCoppolaWinery.com
Francis,
I can’t believe this keeps happening…
Best,
The Croppola Team